A day late...and more than a dollar short

So, on Saturday I was waiting for the bus to head to school downtown. This is not something I ever intend to do on a Saturday, but had no choice. While sulking at the bus stop, I saw a man in a suit walk up. I saw him stop and talk to one of the other people waiting. He was flipping through a pamphlet, and my mind went 'shit. This guy is either mormon or seventh day advent, and either way I don't feel like dealing with it'. The bus rolled up and I breathed a silent thanks to Gods...a moment too soon. The man walked up an said his bit in the seconds before the doors open. I shrugged him off by saying I was saved and getting on the bus.

I thought nothing more of this occurance until this morning. Couldn't help but wonder, all this man wanted to do was hand me a magazine to teach me about his God. As a religion major, passionate about learning about how all different types of people interact with the devine, I turned him down. How does this reflect on me? This man's god is an aspect of mine...so why wouldn't I be eager to learn about him? Yes, I grew up in a christian environment, but that doesn't mean I understand all aspects of the christian god. Now I feel like I lost out on an opportunity, but I realize I could easily go to a local church to learn more if I really wanted to.

But why is it I react so violently to people trying to convert me? I know this goes back to my upbringing. I was constantly preached to because I didn't go to church. Even more often, I was told I was going to hell because I wasn't baptised. Don't get me wrong, I was a very christian person before my change of path. I never got baptised. I didn't feel that I was afraid of being dunked in water by someone I barely knew, but it just didn't feel right. Now I know it's because I didnt really fit on that path to begin with.

Which leads to my answer of 'I am saved'. Yes, in my own mind I have no fear of the hell that I don't believe exists and at one point did indeed accept Christ. I see him very differently now, but somehow I still find it acceptable to say I am saved. However, I use it as an excuse to not learn more about the aspect of deity I left behind. Being so opposed to learning is completely ridiculous for a person of my educational interests, and that applies to my personal religion as well. I need to stop being so dismissive of something that don't understand. Maybe next time I will take the opportunity to learn something. Maybe its time to let this god of the christians back in to my life.

Another Sunday

Yet another week I am not sure what to write about. Sigh.

I have been diving into my studies of my own religion any time I have had a bit of free-time recently. Which has lead to reading about 3 books at once, making a new set of runes, and having about 50 bazillion other religion based projects going on as well. The good news, is it is keeping me connected to my religion despite the fact I am incredibly busy.

So give me topics! I am currently reading through Uncle Bucky's big blue book, so I guess I will talk about something he mentioned.

He spends a lot of time talking about athames and how important it is to use one you have worked on yourself instead of a store bought knife. I don't think it matters as much as Buckland tries to make it sound. If a wand, as he puts it, can be a dowel rod painted gold, then why does the knife have to have some special effort put into it other than energy and cleansing? I have an athame that I bought from a local metaphysical store when I was just starting. It works beautifully and I have never had any problems with it. In fact, I would feel that I was disrespecting a knife if I took off the original handle to make my own as Buckland seems to find fitting. What happened to respecting the artisan? The person that made the piece doesn't matter, it is the way we respect and treat the items we use. For example, you use store bought cauldrons and statues. They are used for directing energy as well, even if it is not as intense. What I am getting to I guess, is I see no reason for a knife that is store bought to not have an intense connection with it's owner, just like any other piece on your altar would.

Bad me!

I missed Sunday. Sorry about that guys! And no one even got on to me...

In any case, I am not sure what to write about for a make-up blog. I have been working on trying to really understand the stones that I own and what they are useful for and such. Bought some herbs that are more popular in local cooking and am going to play with them a bit...other than that, mostly I have been fighting off another round of allergies. I hate being sick. And it is putting some major holes in my attempts to get back into the routine of doing energy work. So, I blame that for my lacking blog post. I know this one doesn't quite make up for it, but I will write another one when I think of a suitable topic.

Blessed be!

Almost missed a week ;)

So, an hour before Sunday is over I am posting. Such a bad person I am ;)

In any case, I have been trying to get back into meditation lately. I didn't realize what an impact just a short time away from the practice can have. Now when I sit down, I find my mind racing in a million directions. If I can get into the meditation state at all, I can't stop thinking about everything else I have going on and that I need to do. It feels like I am a beginner all over again. This is not the first time I have gone through this, but it never seems to be less traumatic. Since I know I am not the only one that has dealt with this, I will share a little insight on how I am getting through it. The important thing I am finding it to make yourself sit down, in the same area you meditate in, for the entire time you were hoping to meditate. That's right, even if you aren't meditating. Your mind will wonder, but don't let it get too involved in activity. Try to focus on something specific. If you like to color, use this as a meditative type exercise for a few days, focusing entirely on the page you are coloring. Maybe you have a small zen garden? Placed in the lap so that you can remain in your meditation area, a zen garden is a great way to focus the mind and keep yourself focused. Mediation balls are also helpful if you find yourself still having a problem getting back into meditation after a few days of focus. It is harder to focus on the balls form the beginning, so waiting until you are used to sitting in one spot the entire time is probably the best bet. I find it helpful to concentrate with a set of meditation balls in each hand to keep the mind focused. If you just can't find a way to keep yourself glued to that spot, that's alright too. Try for a few minutes at a time, for several times a day. If nothing else, there are many podcasts on guided meditations to get you back into the groove. Perhaps use one of these once a day, and then try again to maintain silence of the mind for a few moments before bed. Not only will this aide in falling asleep, but since you will force yourself to stay in bed, what better time could there be to practice quieting the mind? If you have anything to add, please post it in the comments. I look forward to hearing your techniques, and hopefully something can be gained from my experiences with the inability to get back into a solid meditation schedule.

Blessed be!

Tarot

Just thought I would let everyone know, I am now offering tarot readings for personal practice and experienced. If you are interested in a reading, email me.

Caring for an Altar

For most on a Pagan path, we find it important to have an altar. The problem is, when that altar is left to the elements rather than taken care of on a regular basis, it loses the reason we set up the altar to begin with. I never really understood the importance of this until I returned to my family's home for the holidays. I had set up an altar in my room there when I started on my current path. Now that I only return to that home ever two weeks or so, I sadly have not done anything to take care of it or to re-energize it in months. Before I left to return to my home, I took a look at my altar and realized I had not touched it my entire visit. Seeing the dust that had collected there and the untouched candles made me realize there was no bit of the divine left there. When I returned to the place I live, I looked at my much used and very crowded altar and wondered when the last time I actually did more than just light the candles and offer a simple sacrifice to the powers that be. In our busy lives, it is so easy to let our altars fall into disrepair. The problem is, we get into a habit of lighting our candles or a stick of incense and thinking that the simple act is enough to recharge the energy and keep our spiritual lives going. The problem is, when we do not take the time to further our spiritual lives, that altar with the candles lit once a week or once a month is no better off than the one that sits and collects dust. While both of them offer a visual reminder of what we are supposed to believe, neither of them offer the religious fulfillment they were designed to bring into our lives. I have always taken the time to change my altar every sabbat. Now I realize, that isn’t enough. Even with a busy daily life, we have to take the time to pay attention to our spiritual needs. Is five minutes a day really too much to ask when dealing with the price of possible enlightenment? How long must we ignore our spiritual practice before we have to start back at square one because we have forgotten what we have learned? I know for 2011 I am going to do my best to change my outlook on life and remember that religion has always been my driving factor, and the way I live my life should not change just because I feel like there is too much to do. I encourage all of you to look at your religious lives with the change of the calendar as well. What is it that you find important. Do you take the time to make sure it gets the attention it deserves? It’s time to dust off my altar and revive the journal I left sitting to make the most out of my life. It’s a simple change, but could make all the difference. What is your change going to be?